When change is circling

If hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, change must be the thing with talons that plucks you from your comfortable rut and carries you away. Or maybe that's just me in my present state of mind. My present, pink-slipped, state of mind.

The talon analogy lurked when I was reading the monthly Site Based Council report for my school and saw that my position was being eliminated. Say what? So, the rumors I had been hearing were true.

I approached my principal who confirmed the news. Since she was more upset than I was, I could hardly be angry at her. Anyway, I know she doesn't make those decisions on her own. If there is no money, then there is no money. There was good news, though. Turns out I'm tenured. Who knew? Now I didn't have to worry about finding a new job. I just had to worry about where it might be.

As I sat in the principals office I recalled being on the other side of these situations when such a person joined the staff. The conversations usually went something like this...

"You know what it means. It means they didn't want her, but they couldn't fire her. She's tenured". So we have to take her.”

"I'm going to be one of those people," I said to my principal (unable to remember the correct title). "One of those people that no one really wants."

"You'll be an involuntary transfer," she said, helpfully.

"Yes. That."

The thing with talons was circling.

As someone who lived for several months with an owl in my freezer, I claim to know something about talons. It wasn't a cute little screech owl either, but a great horned owl, measuring about 18 inches tall.

In fact, I not only had one really big bird, but another small bird nestled among the Popsicles. That's why the owl was interesting, according to my husband. It had a small starling clutched in its right talon. The owl and starling were found in the snow, both perfectly intact.

Apparently the owl had swooped down on its prey, grabbed it, flew with it to an overhead wire, somehow electrocuted itself, and fell to the ground still clutching its last, uneaten, meal. Someone (I forget who) knew my husband was the president of the local Audubon group and thought he might be interested in such a perfect example of the Ornithological food chain. Of course, he was.

And so, for a while, every time I put away the ice cream or frozen ground beef I had to work around a large brown bag, containing a large plastic bag, containing a large bird clutching a small bird. I thought this earned me several points in the good wife category until I mentioned it to a friend who told me she had a deer head in her freezer. I figured she won that one.

The conversation with the principal was over a month ago. I have learned my placement is in a newly renovated building with a wonderful staff. I have been told this by several people who would know, and I believe them.

But still, I'll miss my old school. I'll miss seeing the faces I've grown accustomed to and walking the halls I know by heart. I liked its close proximity to my yoga studio and favorite coffee shop. I won't see last year's little sixth graders through to the end of their eighth grade year. They change so much.

And yet,there is a sense of adventure in experiencing a different job (or a different city, or a different home). New people to meet, new skills to learn and a bright new place in which to do it. There will be incoming sixth graders at this school, and I'll see them grow.

So maybe this is a good thing. Not hard, stiff talons like my frozen feathered friend, but a real breathing spirit of change. Maybe it's like the song:

And He will raise you up on eagles' wings,
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun,
and hold you in the palm of His hand.

Maybe it's good to embrace change. At least sometimes.